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What's Your Rupture?
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Endless Scroll

by BODEGA

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1.
It’s new world now. Don’t discriminate. Everyone is equally a master and a slave. How did this happen?! I see you walk past the demonstration. Two chips on your shoulder. You’re a culture connoisseur and your pain is real. Two chips on your shoulder. Stuck wading through a crowd of radical daughters. Barricades armed by empty strollers. Basic slogans to combat controllers. See them dance from afar to guitar on your shoulder As you smugly walk past. Think: These people should be here regardless of outcome. As you smugly walk past. Think: There’s a half-off sale at the Barnes and Noble. As you smugly walk past you ask yourself how did this happen? You’re cueing deep cuts as you glide escalator. Two chips on your shoulder. Face pressed to glass looking down at the mass march. Two cans on your shoulder. Your playlist knows you better than a closest lover. Your playlist always desert island disk. Your playlist will curate you songs of the oppressed. Look at the marquee in 1080p. As you smugly walk past. Think: These people should be here regardless of outcome. As you smugly walk past. Think: It’s an island of blue. It’s a nipple in water. As you smugly walk past you ask yourself how did this happen? It’s new world now. Don’t discriminate. Everyone is equally a master and a slave. As you smugly walk past you ask yourself how did this happen? This machine you know it don’t kill fascists. This machine just softens what’s hard. This machine it killed the dream of the sixties. This machine you know it’s just a guitar.
2.
Bodega Birth 01:50
Endless scroll Roll out the endless scroll And the river has an endless roll Roll out the endless, endless Enter Bodega: This is documentary All day long stare at screen This is documentary I fell in love staring at screen Triple dots I see bouncing Name lights up, my heart will beat That was documentary Born into by what consumes Love is born but does consume Bay will burn, my heart will beat That was documentary Enter Bodega: This is documentary Press record, message received This is documentary Time to return Bodega: Witness documentary Flesh and mind shall be released All is documentary I fell in love, I stare at screen Triple dots I see bouncing Two K's seen, my heart will beat That was documentary Empty bottle, feel free That was documentary All you touch, all you see, all your life will ever be
3.
Name Escape 03:43
Name escape Right now :name escape. "Did you remember the Fender?" Said a familiar beard Whose band I always see Whose sound I never hear I cannot seem to place his face His nose or his shape Right now, name escape Right now ---> name escape. And I've seen him at Palisades closing out tabs I've seen him outside of metros flagging down cabs Hand on the fender, message from sender I've seen his face but now no name remember And online he's typing with a pseudonym So even messaging I'm not quite sure if it's him And he never once makes eye contact When he talks he never once makes eye contact And I have no idea what he does for a living And I can't distinguish his head from the next His pants are much tighter than the last time we met He's got a pizza-core badge which he bought on the internet Well have I heard the latest something about so and so? No I have not, my son. Now I don't want to know Have you heard the latest single by the so and the so's? No I have not, my son. Now I don't want to know Right now name escape. And I wonder what this head looks like when he's fucking? Does he look any less like a ship lost at sea? Does he flop like a fish dropped down on the deck? And does he still ever once make eye contact? His head's over the shoulder His head's on the pillow His head's over the shoulder He's looking at the stage He's like me and you and her and also Johnny B. Goode We're just fading and waiting for the time we will play Now luckily a face walks up from back in the day But even him I can't place So right now name escape Right now my hard drive's erased Right now I've ran out of mind space Right now we talk about the sound space Right now heaven knows I'm miserable now Right now heaven knows I'm missing you now And I'm not sure I ever knew your face in the first place And I'm sure not you ever placed first in the new face And I'm sure not I ever not knew not your first place And I'm not sure I ever not knew not your first face escape Name escape name escape name escape name escape Scape scape scape scape scape scape scape
4.
After work I packed my desktop and went out for a-walkin' The closest liquor store had just ran out of boxes So I went down to Bogart to get more cardboard boxes for the move As I wished that I could drink what was once sold in these boxes The sky started to rain and my guts felt nauseous Cause I couldn't tell you that my heart had been starting to move Had to struggle down the road with fifteen soggy boxes The rope had cut my skin and the boxes I kept dropping, yeah I'm boxing out my best friend At least I'll do a good job for the move I'm lying to my best friend At least I'll do a good job for the move When I came home you were sleeping surrounded by boxes Read a Christmas card from you and put it in my pocket Hid a picture of the two of you You were sitting smiling in a photo booth As I tiptoed round the couch, tripped, ripped lamp out of socket I was stacking til the sun rose, couldn't stop packing boxes It dawned on me abruptly as I emptied out all contents from the room And I thought back to the time when were both sick And I held on to your hand in the back of ambulance Now I'm holding onto masking taping up these boxes for the move Now I'm wearing lots of masks and taping up these boxes for the move And you know I hate to make you cry so now I'm taping up these boxes for the move
5.
I am not a cinephile I am not a cinephile, motherfucker I am not a cinephile I am not a cinephile, motherfucker Look to the screen for inspiration How to live a richer life Just how to collect and categorize Get down on my knees and the light hits my eyes But I am not a cinephile I am not a cinephile, motherfucker I am not a cinephile I am not a cinephile, motherfucker Don't count frames Don't memorize names Don't seek divinity in Hollywood shame Yeah my eyes are cameras and I am recording Yeah my eyes are cameras and I am still speeding But I am not a cinephile.
6.
Serving gluten free water with sugar in square of Union. Nine dollars an hour. Co-worker puts on Top 40 crap to tune in. Nine dollars for a smoothie. I say ‘Hey Steven can we please try something better?’ Nine samples on the counter. He said that we must study and learn from higher power. Cause you can’t knock the hustle. When the cats are making capital. You can’t knock the hustle. Selling gluten free water with sugar in square of Union. Nine dollars an hour. White middle management comes in to check on the scooping. Nine dollars for a smoothie They say ‘Please Steven smile and can we sample forever?’ Nine samples on the counter. They said that you must study and learn from higher power. Cause you can’t knock the hustle. When the cats are making capital. You can’t knock the hustle. The cats are making capital.
7.
Gyrate 01:37
Gy Gy Gy. Gy Gy Gy. Gy Gy Gy. Gy Gy Gyrate. Knuckles on the mound with the weight of the ground. If I don’t let this go it’ll happen now. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was six years old. Secret to my success is to gyrate it. In the middle of a party. In the middle of the floor. You can get it all out right now. Wiggle your ass around. Feel the vibes coming up through your toes. Let it all go. You must have to gyrate it. Gyrate.
8.
Well no on is as salty as the seven seas except me and Jack in Titanic. And no one is as handsome or quite as poor as me ‘cept Jack in Titanic. And no ones dances, writes, or fights, or fucks, or makes love quite like me except Jack in Titanic. And no one sees your blazer jacket falls on your hips like I see ‘cept Jack in Titanic. And when we were young we could see me barrel roll over Jeeps. And I learned to fall off from that steep. So now I partner police and fight for you and me and Jack in Titanic. Well no one knows the cure for feral deadly disease except me and Jack in Titanic. And no one is as open but still firm in beliefs quite like me except Jack in Titanic. And I’ll tell you that no one shows devotion when they’re down on their knees quite like me except maybe Jack in Titanic. And no one sees your state of grace with light through the leaves like I see except Jack in Titanic. And when we were young we could see me barrel roll through the fleets. I learned to nod off by that screen. So now I fall asleep and dream of you and me and Jack in Titanic.
9.
Margot 01:32
Watching privately with a lens Can't tell in this business What theory or fetish you're fighting against Hey Margot, sad existence you're living You sold the idea of touching and healing An idea you might have once believed in That's an idea you might have once believed in Living alone by the phone with no one to blame Yet you gave me my name Tell me, what do you believe in? I've no idea what you still believe in Hey Margot, sad existence you're living You sold the idea of touching and healing An idea you might have once believed in That's an idea you might have once believed in That's an idea you might have once believed in? That an idea I might have once believed in.
10.
Bookmarks 02:25
Every morning when I wake up Same clicks to the same sites every day Same things go in my body Same thoughts fill my brain And so often I forget what I'm trying to accomplish Bookmarks to myself keep my eyes on the mission Eyes on the mission, yeah The mission Eyes on the mission, yeah All day at work, stare at computer Come home from work, stare at computer Do my own work, stare at computer Rest and relax, stare at computer With the ones and the zeros, stare at computer The ones go in the zeros, stare at computer Mother nature is ones and zeros, stare at computer When I die and meet my maker I will stare at computer And I refresh to not forget what I'm trying to accomplish Write notes to myself, keep my eyes on the mission Eyes on the mission, yeah The mission Eyes on the mission, yeah All day at work, stare at computer Come home from work, stare at computer Do my own work, stare at computer I'm reading an article at work, stare at computer A Japanese boy in Odaiba, stares at computer Has a seizure playing Pokemon, stare at computer Seventy two hours of gameplay, stare at computer When he dies and meets his maker he will stare at computer And I back up to not forget what I'm trying to accomplish Write marks on myself to keep my eyes on the mission Eyes on the mission, yeah The mission Eyes on the mission, yeah
11.
Warhol 01:30
This is the philosophy of A. War Philosophy of A. War Andy said the best artist was businessman And the best businessman is a cold blood killer So it follows that the best artists are killers too If you see a man dying note the color of his blood And snap a picture Snap a picture Snap a picture Form against everything Everybody hurts and is against everything Shape against everything Have you heard of me? Well then I guess you've heard of everything Form against everything Everybody hurts and is against everything The scroll it is against everything Search for stimulation playing dumb against everything Yeah you can snap a picture
12.
Charlie 02:32
I heard footsteps and you were right there in my room We met through the song and we lived through the tune You said "Lately I've been trying to live outside of the dream" But I never really knew what that was supposed to mean Remember when we had an invisible band? You played invisible bass guitar I clutched invisible mic stand We said we'd always float high We'd always be free But we never really knew what that was supposed to mean I was standing on the lawn on that New Year's Eve As your body washed up from the river you were covered in leaves "In My Life" I would play on repeat In the lot next to the park that you were buried beneath When I got back home from The Lion's Den I was fucked up on paint fumes, I was frayed, I was spent On that Staten Island Ferry I was with you my friend I see your face in the river I am with you my friend And the last time that I saw you was an empty room You showed up halfway through the set and then you left with a tune Now lately I've been trying to live outside of the dream But I never really knew what that was supposed to mean.
13.
Well if you're telling me that freedom exists I guess I could make it over that bridge At the halfway point you showed me half your chest Well mine's never beat faster than this Mine's never beat faster than this I saw eighteen ants down lounging with a laugh On a log that led to a condo of glass Well my knees were shaking at the open space And view of practice space from the past View of practice space from the past I saw the ferry that we boated to Ellis Saw your heritage in stone on the shelf They flocked to this rock for the freedom to roam Now history's repeating itself Yeah, history's repeating itself I stretched the rectangle just to crop him out Of a window opened in incognito We cropped me and you out the circle we grew Clicked the red dot like the blood of mosquito Dot red like the blood of mosquito I see how you can change become something you're not You block the entrance to your bridge and retire Well learning what it's like to have something to lose Is learning what it's like to desire Learning what it's like to desire Well I'm sure today that freedom exists I feel it shaking from the top of that bridge I've been told I'm now opposed to my old points of view But mine's never seen further than this Mine's never seen further than this
14.
I visited my mother in a Tampa Bay complex Klonopin and vodka all day She was pulling on bottles No pull to eat Strapped inside of cathode rays What was most sad of all is that you didn't want to leave your imprisonment You said that "I'm happy" I was arrogant I said that you weren't Smoke billowed through the screen door slide I stared at my computer to escape from the night You asked me advice so I wrote you a lie I typed, "Truth is not punishment" Truth is not punishment. I visited a writer with anxiety complex Depression meds to last through the same Prescribed in bottles, shown on TV Cost as much as eighteen plays On his TV flat screen with the porcupine dream of the essay Where a man and his dream let loose on caffeine see it only one way And "Pain rings true" said the pen to the knife And what rings true is what a pen wants from life Said "I used to want to die just to prove I was right" No one told me truth is not punishment Truth is not punishment. I visited my lover in an hourly hospice I've yearned for you on pixel display I'm always pulling on bottles No pull to eat And cannot find the words to say Except what is most sad of all is that I never want to leave my imprisonment You said that "I'm happy" but I know you and I know that you aren't That's when the words they started to fly Weight took off there and opened me wide Took a smell of her perfume and a glance in her eye To learn truth is not punishment Truth is not punishment.

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released July 6, 2018

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