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What's Your Rupture?
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Broken Equipment

by BODEGA

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1.
Thrown 02:47 video
Watch the thrown. Watch the thrown. And I was thrown here by chance. And I was targeted by new age ads. Spent most of my days in a trance. But I have two feet now to under-stand. My molecules change yet I remain. I weave and unweave my image. The king and the prince. Ghost. Protagonist. Idealist. Perverter. Cuckold. Bull. Film triptychs. Nudes. Multitudes. Artist statement: Hear what’s passed in you. And find in the world without actuality. And find that the world is without. My brain is a train and it’s due for a collision. There’s a body on the track. I’m due for a decision. My brain is a train and it’s due for a collision With my body on the track and I’m due for a decision We’re thrown. Not here by chance. And I’m surrounded by bureaucrats. And I was cold called by two democrats Who said ‘senators thrown.’ Still failing the class. Yet inside me : Bermuda Triangle. Jester. Gambler. Idiot. Troll. Graceful. Grateful. Patient. Stoic. Puritan. Conservist. Arson -Well. Exaggerist. Both hippie and punk. Fiercely loyal. Will jump ship. A bundle of impressions. Impressionable. See what I say is not what I think but a reaction to the itch on my back. A reaction to the six of this pack. A reaction to the kick on this track. A reaction to celebrity master class. And I was thrown here by chance. And I’m compounded of three authored acts. At this moment loathing at the glass. At this moment and always I am wearing a mask. And I was thrown here by chance. Shipwrecked. Court side. In a trance. I was targeted by big rock ads. Gave both of my soles just to play in the band. Thrown. Here by chance. Shipwrecked. Court side. In a trance. Thrown by a glare inside of a glance That said none of this fear appeared by chance. Thrown. Here by chance. What’s left is loathing. Caught in a dance. And I’m thrown. Still not stuck in a plan. See none of what’s here appeared by chance.
2.
Doers 03:19 video
DOERS This city’s made for the doers. The movers shakers. Not connoisseurs. This city’s made for the doers. The movers shakers. Health food reviewers. No - I don’t have time for a call. If word’s urgent you can post it on my wall. I don’t have time to inhale. Waste batteries. Miss the next e-mail. Hemingway wrote: Stop when you know where to go tomorrow but that was so long ago. We are living in the days of sorrow. We are living in the buy don’t borrow. Hemingway wrote : Relax when you know what to note tomorrow but that was so long ago. You’ll be living in the days of sorrow when I post my Kilimanjaro. Baby its making me bitter harder fatter stressed out. Baby yr making me bitter harder fatter stressed. This city’s made for the doers. The movers. shakers. Non-connoisseurs. This city’s made for the doers. The humors. Tubers. entrepreneurs. You need to make both ends meet. Maximize flow soylent toilet seat. You need to make both ends meet. Scrunch overhead til yr head touch feet. See I take all my meals to-go. It’s fast down the tube - delivery - and back to my work flow. Innovation it waits for no man unless I lose my dongle. You must will your maxims only they apply to you : the universal law of the doer. You see this book stack. I have an app that reads econ theory by pillow while I sleep. They say: this show’s incredible. They say: oeuvre indelible. Who is they and why are we constantly seeking to defer authority? Huh? It’s making me bitter harder fatter stressed out. Baby it’s making me bitter harder fatter stressed. This city’s made for the doers. The movers . shakers. data accruers. This city’s made for the doers. The movers. shakers. non- connoisseurs. If you stroll for a walk in the woods and I snap photo on my phone of goods: For all millennia you’re always be stuck in the woods. How you gonna manage that? Ten minutes : calendar Ten minutes : Bandcamp Ten minutes : wiki browse Ten minutes: planning my next ten minutes It’s all about auto bio of Benjamin. Ten minutes: Ted talk Ten minutes: Notepad Ten minutes: Amazon Ten minutes : planning my next ten minutes To thine own shelf be true. This city’s made for the doers. The movers. shakers. Non-connoisseurs. This city’s made for the doers. The humors. Tubers. entrepreneurs. It’s making me bitter. Harder. Fatter. Stressed out. Nikki it’s making me bitter. Harder. Fatter. Stressed out
3.
Call. Call me out. Call me out. Call. You lust to be responsible. Call. Call me out. Call me out. Call me out. Don’t calm it down. What is my obsession with men? And my need for release? And my need for critique is lost on my body. I am in a state of retreat. Anxiety is energy retained in my body. Everybody already knows. It’s important to note. Months of posts they watch on their phones. To me nothing will ever be said. What’s my intention with men? Cuz you know when the man is around That’s when I’m putting you down. Oh yes. Oh baby pivot your frown. You know the man is around. Here he comes. I know you gotta: Call. Call me out. Call me out. Call. You lust to be responsible. Call. Call me out. Call me out. Call me out. Don’t calm me down. Territorial call of the man. It’s a power obscene. A full body release. It’s so naughty. We are in a state of retreat. Anxiety is energy retained in our body. Everybody already knows. It’s important to note. Months of posts they watch on their phones. To me nothing will ever be said. What’s my intention with men? Cuz you know when the man is around That’s when I’m putting you down. Oh baby pivot your frown. You know the man is around. Here he comes. Don’t calm me down.
4.
There was a stone fort. Some windmills. A small attempt at a canal. There was a wall that led to a steeple. Was a steeple full of protestant peoples. They worshipped beaver pelts and sugar. They sang psalms for the selling of slaves. And the Algonquin speaking Indians went to graves or were used for the trade. New York was founded by a corporation. New York was founded by a corporation. By freelance workers and merchants. Liquidated by the whole English war fleet. Then the dutch canal we call Broad street was drained of its water and filled up with concrete. The wolves of Wall built the tallest canal. Lead the Yankees to the great lake’s grain. When higher sea level from Ontario falls down to eerie Niagara cries in the rain. New York was founded by a corporation. New York was founded by a corporation. Craven is the island that we all come from. New York was founded by a corporation. As rappers composed. Flappers unrobed. Steel towers rose up in the sky. And the market crashes regulating itself While certain psalms are always sung in the moonlight. They sing for plastic phones, police, and sugar Our bands increase up the maximum wage. Sparkling on a screen by machine in time’s square a windmill still spins and cries in the rain. New York was founded by a corporation. New York was founded by a corporation. Craven is the island that we all come from. New York was founded by a corporation.
5.
I never was born with god. Never had a need to rape or pillage. When I live on this earth and try no hurt More than necessary. Oh I know I’ll never know whose fantasy I’ll be a part. But god don’t be confused You aint getting any part of my attitude You’re just a statuette on the console. Statuette on the console. I never was a therapist but I’ve listened to strange realities. And I try to make sense of it It’s value never ceded. Oh I know I”ll never know whose fantasy I’ll be a part. But boy don’t be confused You ain’t getting any part of my attitude You’re just a statuette on the console. Statuette on the console. I never know just how to give control. Statuette on the console. Oh I know I”ll never know whose fantasy I’ll be a part. But god don’t be confused I’ve been living my life with my platitudes. You’re just a statuette on the console. Statuette on the console. I never know just how to give control. Statuette on the console.
6.
C.I.R.P. 03:43
See me lazy back basking in cologne in theatre air conditioned to feel alone A drone kills vigil vigilantes Hear an SMS ringing from the back seat with kicked up feature presentation proudly sponsored by the navy. Was that Spiderman seven nak? Or advert for the navy? ‘If u want to be a hero Here’s my number: call me maybe’ ‘Lieutenant Daniels this is McNulty reporting Spotted perp —> perpendicular seating.’ ‘No texts: informing management!’ Two TXT’s received from perp’s grandmother. Interrupting Oscar nominated ads for 1970’s fads. The patrons gleefully cheer as the texter is ejected. The task force is in training now: Submit or be corrected. I see a field drill of counter intelligence role play I see a field drill of counter intelligence role play I see a field drill of counter intel. Field drill of counter intel. A field drill of counter intelligence role play. When you spill all the milk always point at the others instead Instead of playing 911 rid all the cops in your head When you spill all the milk always point at the others instead Instead of playing 911 evict all the cops in your head boy In the center of the Time’s Square recruitment kiosk glares They got cheap tix for all theaters of war. They got orchestrated seating. They got Jason Bourne proceedings for those coming down from fructose And Batman NYPD-ing. I see a field drill of counter intelligence role play I see a field drill of counter intelligence role play I see a field drill of counter intel. Field drill of counter intel. A field drill of counter intelligence role play. When you spill all the milk always point at the others instead Instead of playing 911 rid all the cops in your head When you spill all the milk always point at the others instead Instead of playing 911 evict all the cops in your head And talk back to the screen. Images not holy. No reverence for sunset. Advertisements not holy. If cell lighting really bugs you hold weapon down mcnulty. Maybe there’s an emergency Or maybe ask politely.
7.
I want to be a pillar on the bridge of you. Semi trucks rolling over me. Carry your load in a map with wheels. Orange shapes where you’re gonna be. He only said ‘I love you’ Two thousand leagues underneath the sea. But I’m gonna show I love you When my back lifts you up that street. And this prop never goes back. This stone rock is your launch pad. But you already know that. For you I don’t have to show that. Dripping we are like the drops of water that make each stepping though the river new. One and one we form more and less than two. Less than two. More and less than two. I want to be a pillar in the bridge of you. Salty waves slap against me. Creation trails down to my chin. Sea changes with ecstasy. Yeah they’ll only say ‘I love you’ Two thousand leagues underneath the sea. But I’m gonna show I love you When my back lifts you up that street. You’ll see me splash you up over the bank. Then you’ll be raining down as the dew. One and one we form more and less than two. And all the apertures are opening up (and I know) There are different kinds of love (but I know) But there’s no selfish way to love Cause then it wouldn’t love. And all the apertures are opening up (and I heard) There are different types of love (but I know) But there’s no selfish way to love Cause then it wouldn’t love. And this prop never goes back. This stone rock is your launch pad. But you already know that. For you I don’t have to show that. And this prop never goes back. This stone rock is your launch pad. But yeah you already know that. For you I don’t have to show that.
8.
The employees of my ego they’re on strike Brothers and sisters you know what it’s like Tell all of my worries to take a hike Tell all your directors today I’m playing as an extra I’m playing as an extra I’m so sick of playing protagonist How can I help ya? Benefit of the doubt - he’s outside Brothers and sisters lights will shine The harder you try - hard you die Tell all of your voters today I’m campaigning as an extra Campaigning as an extra I’m so sick of playing protagonist How can I help ya? I have so many things to offer I can paint your house and tell you why you should bother I’ve been far too impressed with my own deeds Let’s shoot your film Let’s do whatever you please I’m playing as an extra I’m playing as an extra I’m so sick of playing protagonist How can I help ya? The employees of my ego they’re on strike Brothers and sisters you know what it’s like The path that you fly that’s hue of sky Been telling the professor today I’m painting as an extra That’s playing as an extra I’m so sick of playing protagonist How can I help ya? And I’m so sick of playing protagonist How can I help ya? How can I help ya?
9.
NO BLADE OF GRASS No blade of grass shall stand this strain. No second class shall board on this plane. The air is gas. Your era’s passed. No blade of grass shall stand with this strain. Every single trailer for a film I’ve seen this week —> it repeats it’s the end of the world. Every time I click on screen —> apocalypse dreams for end of the world. They say ‘it’s all about the future.’ (are you preparing?) ‘It’s not about right now.’ (you should be scared) ‘One of these days and it won’t be long you’re gonna wish you had a holy cow.’ Click now. ‘Gonna wish you had a holy cow.’ No blade of grass shall stand this strain. No second class shall board on this plane. Your era’s passed. No blade of grass. No blade of grass shall stand with this strain. Every single trailer for a film I’ve seen this week —> it repeats it’s the end of the world. And every mind’s a saint Augustine —> apocalypse dreams for end of the world. They say ‘it’s all about the future.’ (are you preparing?) ‘It’s not about right now.’ (you should be scared) ‘One of these days and it won’t be long you’re gonna wish you had a holy cow.’ Click now. ‘Gonna wish you had a holy cow.’ Pundits on YouTube they say: ‘We need strength and discipline to fight against the natural. So please forfeit up your basic rights.’ They say: ‘Inequality. It is natural.’ ‘We need strength and discipline to fight against the natural. So give more power to the rich.’ They say : ‘Inequality. It is natural.’ I spy with my little eye a contradiction in your why. No that won’t fly. No that won’t fly. I spy with my little eye a contradiction in your why. No that won’t fly. No that won’t fly. Rockaway Beach. Next week : trash heap. Fifth Avenue will Waterloo like it used to. Catastrophe. Calamity. Market opportunity. Power uses tragedy to stock up on annuity. Chrysler building’s peak. Next week : trash heap. Fifth Avenue will Waterloo like it used to. Catastrophe. Calamity. Market opportunity. Power uses tragedy to stock up on annuity. Cuz I spy with my little eye a contradiction in your why. No that won’t fly. No that won’t fly. I spy with my little eye a contradiction in your why. No that won’t fly. No that won’t fly. We built the weapon to destroy entire planet. Don’t intend to use it. We built the tech to destroy entire planet. Oops.
10.
My chat room suitor she lit me with a frame of a red font. Back then I never slept. Was King Kong logged on til the dawn. She said ‘no you hang up first’ - too late - I already miss you. Real sadness was brand new. I played her Comfortably Numb. So if you love that I’m an open book you’ve got a bookmark in her pages too. Cuz all past lovers live inside of you. Then my athenian heat wave arose and froze me up like a statue. And If it was not for her gall wouldn’t have moved to the city at all. She said ‘the size of this world’s more room than any just I’ll kiss you.’ The city hovered her head. She was never alone in her walls. So if you see with me that others can write your book you’d have to thank that gall for helping me too. Cuz all past lovers live inside of you. And to that southern belle - she held me with the grip of metal yellow arm on a tractor. And when I fled too fast its cuz my constructed site had too many questions to answer. I said the top of the south is a mouth - not a house that I must break through to continue. I heard she got through there too and had a kid when she moved. Guess geography wasn’t the issue. So if yr reaching out and you want to hold my hold my hand you know yr probably holding onto hers too. Cuz all past lovers live inside of you And to my true best friend I pushed red. Imprinted in my head blue. At end I never really said goodbye or spoke truly at all. Still we always used to talk in verse. That’s how I still say ‘I miss you.’ Put my yearn for you in our tunes. You played comfortable drums. So if yr reaching out and praising your new you know yr praising what’s best in their ex too. Cuz all past lovers live inside of you.
11.
SENECA THE STOIC I was sludging through the snow. Saw a golden light from a candlelit bar. Clapping laughing inside I was dreaming of going back in time. BODEGA played the back in what seemed like a lifetime. Sad situation when disguise yourself. Now it’s cold calculation. I can’t surprise myself. I was riding in a van. Saw a ray of light from a speeding train cut through the dark night. Was feeling low though I was then high. Hadn’t heard from myself in what seemed like a lifetime. Sad situation when disguise yourself. Such a sad situation when despise yourself. It’s such a waste of time to feel bitter. Waste to feel a bliss. Wonder what evolutionary reason for melancholy is? And sometimes get so rolled out I hate the sound of my favorite music. All notes and songs sound the same and beauty seems a cliche. It’s such a waste of time to feel bitter. Waste to feel a bliss. Wonder what evolutionary reason for melancholy is? Seneca the stoic whose name’s on the Footlight reminds me to take the sting and the bite of the bleakest night. Reminds me that soon I’ll too be yearning for this night. Reminds me that soon I’ll too be yearning for this night. Yearning for this night. Seneca the stoic whose name’s on the Footlight reminds me to take the sting and the bite of the bleakest night. Reminds me back then I too was yearning for an earlier night. Reminds me I too forgot how lonely was that earlier night. Reminds me that soon I’ll too be yearning for this night. Yearning for this night. Yearning for this night. Yearning for this night. Yearning for this yearn.
12.
After Jane 04:53
Lately I’ve been thinking about you alone in that Tampa apartment. Shaking by the TV set alone with no friends in your apartment. I think that’s why I made a point that year of watching all Chicago games. That was the same year you disappeared. That was the same year I changed. You and your mother and father would watch them together talking on the phone too. And since the three of you are gone now I can watch them for you. I remember thinking on that day for years - to me you’ve been dead already. I was hurt so bad. I built a castle wall. To block all the things that you said to me. And the hole in your heart’s passed to me down. And I find it sort of funny how the more that I live and the more I do wrong it’s easier and harder To sing my songs. Remember our visit on Christmas eve when you didn’t recognize who I was. You thought I was a actor playing your son. You quizzed me. I got right every one. I remember thinking on that night for years - Your mind had been gone already. I could feel your ribs. You took an ocean of pills. Nervous for how you would act for me. Now the grace in that pain’s passed to me down. When I think of that night it’s funny now. The more that I live and the more I do wrong I’m channeling your hurt when I sing my songs. You were never cleaned up enough to remember you saying ‘I don’t love you.’ But since I know that wasn’t you speaking I can say it for you. Your skeptical soul lives on in me. We hate bureaucrats, rules, and shame. We spit on the doctor who thought she was better. Presuming that she knew your pain. Now the beat of your heart’s passed to me down. I feel you laughing on my brow. The more that I live And the more I do wrong I’m channeling your heart When I sing my songs. The more that I live and the more I do wrong I’m channeling your heart When I sing my songs.

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released March 11, 2022

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